Tuesday, 09 November 2010 00:00

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - In a move to slash escalating airfare fees, Air Caraïbes will offer cheaper fares by dropping off consenting passengers and their luggage in mid-air at certain points along its route.

"Unlike other pricey airlines who continue raising fees, Air Caraïbes is always looking for ways to save our customers money on airfare," said company spokesperson Daniel Fabien. "Our new drop-off program will make travel more affordable for many air travelers."

According to Fabien, Air Caraïbes will begin daily non-stop service between Port-au-Prince and New York. Passengers who are traveling to destinations along the route will be dropped off accordingly.

"For instance, let's say we have a passenger going to Florida or Virginia, when we're flying over the state, we will gently push the consenting traveler out of the aircraft," said Fabien. "Of course, passengers will be provided with a parachute to ensure a smooth descent to their destination because, obviously, we care greatly about their safety."

Sunday, 12 September 2010 00:00

KENSCOFF, Haiti - Calling it one of the worst financial crises ever, bourgeois across Haiti say nowadays they are struggling to make ends meet on only one monopoly.

A group of Haitian elites recently revealed that they are actively pursuing ways to increase their wealth because one monopoly is simply not sufficient to keep up with the costs of their luxurious lifestyle.

"Luckily, I can raise prices whenever I want," admitted businessman Adrien Perard II, who controls the food and drinks industry. "But, believe it or not, that is still not enough."

According to Haiti Forbes magazine, there are six families who control various industries such as telecommunications, banking, clothing, food and drinks, oil and gas, and materials. Each family calls the shots in his respective trade and mutually agrees not to encroach on their fellow elite's turf.