Marché En Fer Street Vendors Tout Merger

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti  Seeking to improve their competitiveness against larger street vendors in the crowded and bustling Marché en Fer, street merchants Nap Boulé S.A. and Piti Piti S.A. have joined forces in an unprecedented merger deal on Monday.

"Face it, in this era of intense competition, you need all the resources you can get to fight for customers," Maturin Eliazer, who will head the newly combined street vending entity, Nap Boulé Piti Piti S.A., told reporters. "This merger will help us do just that."

Haiti’s Tourism Ministry Urges Diaspora To Bring At Least 5 People With Them On Each Trip To Haiti

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Calling on the Diaspora to also do their part, Haitian tourism officials are advising their fellow countrymen and women living abroad to bring at least 5 companions along on every visit to Haiti.

"Reviving our struggling tourism industry remains a Herculean task. We can't do it all alone," said Tourism Minister Stephanie Villedrouin. "That's why we're urging all Haitians visiting their homeland to come with at least 5 tourists. It could be 5 friends or 5 co-workers. Or both. It's really up to you."

According to Villedrouin, the new campaign is designed to breathe new life into the sagging tourism sector and introduce non-Haitians to the Caribbean nation.

"With your help, visitors will discover Haiti's rich history and breathtaking natural beauty," said Villedrouin. "While you can bring as many guests as you'd like, we'd strongly recommend 5 as a bare minimum."

American Airlines Attempts To Guilt Haitian Travelers

DALLAS, TX - In response to declining demand and increasing costs, the parent company of American Airlines unveiled a new strategy to boost sales by laying the guilt trip on Haitians living abroad.

The new marketing campaign, the latest introduced by the embattled airline carrier to combat its financial woes, has made its debut last week. In the ads, American Airlines uses guilt primarily to coerce Haitians into purchasing airfares.

"It's probably been months, if not years, since you last visited Haiti," the ad's narrator said. "Why? Are you too good for your homeland?"

'You Can't Go Out And Play Until You've Fixed The Economy,' Says Garry Conille's Mom

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Mother of newly ratified prime minister, Dr. Garry Conille, refuses to let her son go play outside until he turns the nation's crippled economy around, friends reported.

"Today, we asked Garry to come out and have some fun with us," said Carlo Forestal speaking of his best friend since childhood. "And he was like, 'I can't. My mom says I have to solve the current economic crisis.'"

According to long-time friends, Mrs. Conille has become fas less lenient in recent days about how the newly appointed prime minister spends his time, reducing his television viewing and the amount of time he spends with friends.

"Ever since he became prime minister, Mrs. Conille has drastically cut back Garry's activities so he can concentrate more on his new job," said Forestal. "What a strict lady."