PM-Designate Laurent Lamothe Excited About Agenda Opposition Will Never Let Him Implement

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti  Although the opposition plans to block all of his legislative agenda, Laurent Lamothe told reporters that he is nonetheless "beyond thrilled" to serve as Haiti's next prime minister.

"I cannot tell you how excited I am," Lamothe, who will not complete any of his key domestic programs due to constant parliament obstruction, told a dozen reporters who gathered to hear him speak. "If ratified, I'm eager to help my country overcome one of the most difficult periods in its history."

Rejected Slogans For Haiti

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - The Tourism Ministry invited all Haitians to create a new slogan for the country. The contest, which ended March 31st, yielded hundreds of submissions. Many questionable suggestions were turned down. What were some of the REJECTED entries?

Haiti’s Tourism Ministry Urges Diaspora To Bring At Least 5 People With Them On Each Trip To Haiti

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Calling on the Diaspora to also do their part, Haitian tourism officials are advising their fellow countrymen and women living abroad to bring at least 5 companions along on every visit to Haiti.

"Reviving our struggling tourism industry remains a Herculean task. We can't do it all alone," said Tourism Minister Stephanie Villedrouin. "That's why we're urging all Haitians visiting their homeland to come with at least 5 tourists. It could be 5 friends or 5 co-workers. Or both. It's really up to you."

According to Villedrouin, the new campaign is designed to breathe new life into the sagging tourism sector and introduce non-Haitians to the Caribbean nation.

"With your help, visitors will discover Haiti's rich history and breathtaking natural beauty," said Villedrouin. "While you can bring as many guests as you'd like, we'd strongly recommend 5 as a bare minimum."

Haiti: Ex-Soldiers Make Demands

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Former Haitian soldiers are refusing to leave old army bases until the government reinstates the disbanded army. What else are they demanding?

Haiti's Parliamentary Circus To Go On National Tour

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Leaders from both the Senate and Chamber of Deputies announced yesterday at a press conference that they plan on taking the political circus that commonly takes place at the parliament on a nationwide tour.

"We are thrilled to launch this national tour to give our fellow citizens all over the country a rare chance to experience up close the never-ending circus that goes on inside the parliament," Senate President and Ringmaster Simon Dieusel Desras told the assembled press. "Come one, come all. I promise we will not disappoint."

Martelly Submits Passports

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - President Michel Martelly recently presented 8 passports to prove once and for all his Haitian nationality. What do the passports also reveal?