Martelly Ap Mete Men Nan Rekonstriksyon Palè Nasyonal Poul Ede Peyi-a Ekonomize Anpil Lajan

PÒTOPRENS, Ayiti – Nan yon efò poul ede peyi a ekonomize yon manman lajan, Prezidan Michel Martelly fè konnen ke li pral mete men nan pwojè rekonstriksyon a pou rebati Palè Nasyonal la.

"Jounen jodiya, peyi a ap travèse yon kriz ekonomik grav. Sa vle di ke nou pa dwe gaspiye lajan peyi a," Martelly di. "Lè yo te montre'm konbyen kòb lap koute pou nou rekonstwi Palè Nasyonal an, sezisman te pran'm. Mwen poze tèt mwen kesyon mande kisa'm ka fè pèsonèlman poum ede peyi a redwi kokenn depans sa. Pandan map reflechi konsa, yon lide fè fap li rantre nan tèt mwen. Aprè pliziè konvèsasyon avèk kontraktè a, nou antann nou poum mete men tou nan travay la."

Martelly Hopes To Save On National Palace Rebuilding Costs By Doing Some Of The Work Himself

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – In an effort to help the nation save thousands of dollars, President Michel Martelly announced plans to undertake various projects himself during the National Palace reconstruction.

"In these hard economic times, we must take a hard look at our upcoming expenses and find ways to reduce them," said Martelly. "When I saw the builder's cost estimates to restore the National Palace, you can imagine my shock. So, I asked myself, what can I personally do to help cut our costs? The answer was obvious. After much discussion, we've agreed that I will do some of the labor myself."

Yon Bourik Akayè Pa Anvi Pote Anyen Jodi-a

AKAYÈ, Ayiti – Yon bourik nan zòn Akayè ki ap pran yon ti repo di pliziè jounalis ke li pa anvi pote anyen sou do li jodi-a.

"Dabitid, mwen toujou djanm, prè poum travay ak tout boulin," bourik la di. "Men jodi-a m'pa santi'm byen ditou. Menm yon pa m'pa anvi fè la. M'pa bezwen di'w anyen ankò."

Arcahaie Donkey Doesn’t Feel Like Carrying Anything Today

ARCAHAIE, Haiti – Stating that he just wants a little "unwind" time, an Arcahaie area donkey told reporters he has no desire to carry anything today.

"Usually, I'm lively and ready to go," said the donkey. "But today I'm just not feeling it. I really don't have the motivation to get up and move, much less carry someone or something heavy on my back."

Haiti Parliament Members Admit They’re Too Short-Staffed To Cause Gridlock

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – Saying they are grossly understaffed to cause political gridlock, members of parliament issued a strongly worded statement today calling on President Michel Martelly to hurry up and organize elections.

According to lawmakers, the government's failure to establish a Permanent Electoral Council (CEP) – the entity responsible for conducting elections  has left one third of the 30 Senate seats vacant for more than a year, resulting in an alarming decrease in legislative gridlock.

Valentine's Day Pick-Up Lines

Pick-up lines scientifically-guaranteed to help you break the ice and find a great Haitian date this Valentine's day:

> Is your last name Pikliz? Because you're hot.

> Martelly asked me to survey all the fine ladies. Wanna be the first one?